Caregiving Tips to Share with Family and Friends

Caregivers understand that many family and friends want to help. However, no matter how good your intentions you may not understand just how busy caregivers are, or know the best way to help. Hopefully the tips below will help you determine the best way to help and show how much you care for the patient and caregiver.

Help by understanding

Understand and accept: You might not know completely what’s going on behind closed doors or what it’s like for the caregiver and patient, either individually or as a couple.

Both patient and caregiver need support and contact: If you’re a member of the patient’s family, see and hear the caregiver. On the other hand, if you’re related to the caregiver, stay very connected with the patient to help them feel whole and relevant. Don’t take sides. There may be more to the story that you don’t know.

Caregiving is full time, all the time: Caregivers may not have time to talk on the phone. All too often, they don’t have a life outside of caregiving and can’t be expected to focus on anything other than caring for their loved one. Be flexible, be understanding, be compassionate.

Advice may not be helpful: Don’t give caregivers medical information. Most likely, they have done a substantial amount of research. Don’t tell caregivers what to do or give your opinion unless asked.

Stay in touch

Email and text messages: Make it easy with messages that don’t require a response. Letting the caregiver and loved one know that you’re thinking of them can be a huge pick-me-up.

FaceTime or phone: Text or email the caregiver and patient and offer to schedule a time to connect on the phone or via FaceTime. Leave voice mails that don’t request or require a response. The caregiver may not have private time to talk.

Cards and letters: Cards or letters sent via the post office are such a lift.

Help with food

Ask what foods will be welcome: Before you bring food, ask what to bring or what’s needed, and keep an open mind because food tastes do change. Keep portions small and easy to prepare. Use food containers that don’t need to be returned. Ask if a shared meal, in or out, would be welcome. Shared food feeds the body and soul.

Nice things to say
One of the easiest ways to give support and show how much you care is by acknowledging what caregivers and loved ones are going through and asking questions of them. Here are some things to say or ask:

  • I’m sorry for what you’re going through.
  • How are you doing?
  • Is there anything you’re dealing with that you would like to talk about?
  • What can I do for you this week?

After a death
The death of a loved is always hard for all involved. For the caregiver, their life changes overnight. Help them process their grief, and this huge shift, by caring for them:

  • Offer to run errands for or with the caregiver.
  • Drive the caregiver for the first week or two, as it may not be safe for them to drive.
  • Ask if they want to talk about the death. They probably do.
  • Say the loved one’s name frequently. Let it come up in conversation. They probably want — and
  • need — to hear it.
  • Stay in touch with calls. Invite them on walks or hikes.
  • Remember them with cards or messages on important dates, especially during the first year.

MFS® does not provide legal, tax, or accounting advice. Any statement contained in this communication (including any attachments) concerning U.S. tax matters was not intended or written to be used, and cannot be used, for the purpose of avoiding penalties under the Internal Revenue Code. This communication was written to support the promotion or marketing of the transaction(s) or matter(s) addressed. Clients of MFS should obtain their own independent tax and legal advice based on their particular circumstances.

Courtesy of Greg Patterson and James Allen Canady with Atlantic Wealth Management, 712 Bridges Street, Morehead City, NC 28557. Neither MFS nor any of its subsidiaries is affiliated with Atlantic Wealth Management. Securities and advisory services as Registered Representatives and Investment Adviser Representatives of Commonwealth Financial Network®, Member FINRA/SIPC, a Registered Investment Adviser. They can be reached at 252-515-7800 or at [email protected].

© 2023 MFS®

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